Archive for humor

In an elevator..

// May 4th, 2013 // Comments Off // humor, life, me, tech

I haven’t written anything in a while, and I thought tonight was  a good night to write. Something interesting happened today while I was in the elevator and I thought I’d share it here with you all :p

Seriously if you think this is boring, either skip to the last two sentences or type http://youtube.com in your address bar, I hear they have interesting videos on that site. Come to think of it, here’s a quick story: My cleaning lady likes to talk, and yesterday she was talking about youtube and how she loves it and the first time she saw it etc.. Now she’s a bit old and not tech-savy, yet she was tell me how she felt the first time her daughter showed her youtube. She described her feelings as if this youtube site was invented before world war 1. Then I started to recall when I first saw youtube. I remember I read an article about it on slashdot around May or June 2005 (it was our digg/reddit back in the day). I saw the site, and I believe it was during its first or second month, and there were less than a thousand videos. You could have literally browsed through all the videos in a day. I remember thinking to myself, that this was a very stupid idea because streaming videos costs money, and how could they pay for all that bandwidth..? Ads? Who could manage such a global ad system? It turned out google had the power to create a global ad system so powerful, it actually made youtube work and become a billion dollar investment. Why am I talking about youtube? this is supposed to be about elevators…

Okay back to my elevator story. So I get on the elevator today around 6pm, and there are 5 people. I look at the board, and 5 buttons are pressed. After I got off on my floor, I was talking to my neighbor about the probability of each person getting of on a different floor. Its not really that rare, because the probability was 0. 25 (I’ll show you how to calculate it).

elevator

So my neighbor goes on to tell me that last week he was the tenth person to get on the elevator from the garage in our building. Each person went to a different floor, and one of them actually got off on the ground floor, which is uncommon. So, I started to think to myself, how rare is that? 10 people get on the elevator in the basement, and all go to 10 different floors in a 10 story building? The answer is 3 in 10,000..! Ok, then I started to think, how many times has this elevator had exactly 10 people in it? Our building is only 35 months old. If we assume that the elevator gets exactly 10 people going up from the basement floor(s) in it, 4 times a day during the weekdays and twice during saturdays and sundays, and I do believe that I’m pushing it there. That would mean that since the building was built until today, this has only happened 3639 times at most.

So, the probability that this has ever happened in our building is 0.36, which means there is a 0.636 chance that this has never ever happened..! And if it did happen, then it would have been a very very rare occurrence…! I sorta wish I was on that elevator…

Okay to calculate the probability, you do the following:
– First person will obviously push an un-pressed button: probability is 10/10 = 1
– Probability of the second person pressing one of the un-pressed buttons: 9/10 = 0.9 (there is a 0.1 chance he’ll push the one pressed by the first guy)
– Probability of the third person pressing one of the un-pressed buttons: 8/10 = 0.8 (again there is a 0.2 chance he’ll push a previously pressed button)
– Probability of the forth person pressing one of the un-pressed buttons: 7/10 = 0.7
– ..
– ..
– Tenth guy pressing the last un-pressed button: 1/10 = 0.1 (meaning there is a 0.9 chance he’ll press a button already chosen by someone else!)

Total probability is the product of all the probabilities = 1 * 0.9 * 0.8 * 0.7 …. * 0.1 = 0.00036288

which means this only happens 3 or 4 times every 10 thousand times!

obviously this was the case for our building, and it might be different for yours, but at least now you know how to calculate it. I wonder if anyone actually read this.. LOL

Child-Free Flights? Genious!!

// July 20th, 2011 // Comments Off // humor, me, Trips

I recently read that Ryanair was going to offer “child-free” flights starting October 2011. Now I don’t really hate kids, I just don’t like them crying for hours on a flight I’m on. This reminds me of a story that happened about a year ago.

I was taking a trip from Montreal to London, and the plane was set to depart at 8pm. I had so much to do the night before so I didn’t get enough sleep. I thought that I might be able to kill some time on the trip by sleeping. So I grabbed my travel pillow and headed to the airport.

I’m not a big fan of airplane food, so I ate a whopper from Burger King before going through the security check. There was not a baby in sight, and I was sooo sure my flight would be child-free. By the time I got in line for the security check, I was full, I finished praying, and couldn’t wait to put my head on my pillow with hopes of sleeping most of the trip. While in line I saw this guy from Pakistan with a child in his arms and another in a stroller. I couldn’t imagine how hard it can be to travel with 2 kids and all that luggage. I think one of them was crying or something, all I know is that I felt bad for the guy and whoever was going to be on the same flight with him and his kids.

I got me a decafe to enjoy while waiting for the gate to open. While I was checking my email and browsing the web on my Blackberry I saw the guy with the two kids sit near my gate! Of all the flights that night, why mine? Seriously! The only kids in the airport were on my flight! So I sat there wishing they’d at least be in a different cabin. I usually get on the plane after everyone boards because I’d rather wait in the airport than on a tiny seat in a crowded plane (Plus the duration of the flight is technically shorter if you board towards the end).

I show the flight attendant my boarding pass and she guides me to my seat. Guess who is right next to me? The guy with the two kids, and boy were they crying! Why would anyone cry that hard? I turned to the flight attendant and begged for another seat or another flight, but she told me that I had no choice the flight was fully booked. I sat down and hoped they would get tiered of crying and sleep. Boy was I wrong, those devils had different plans. When one would cry, the other would take a break to fuel up on crying power. Don’t they have shots to make them sleep or something? The plane took off and the pressure kicked in, and that’s when they both went berserk. There was a moment where I thought those kids might have been kidnapped and the crying was their way of asking us to save them.

I sunk my head into my pillow and tried to go to sleep wishing for at least an hour of silence, but those kids knew of my plans and wanted me to suffer. There were moments in between shifts when one would cool down, and it would take the other about 2 or 3 minutes to pick up where his brother left off. During those moments I would doze off, and right when I would fall asleep the other one would cry like crazy. I didn’t know what to do, and there was nothing for me to do but look at them and hope those kids would look at me and have mercy on me and the other passengers on that flight.

About 3 hours into the flight the kids went to sleep and I got about 30 minutes of sleep during that time. I would wake to the sounds of mommy and daddy giggling over the alone time they’re enjoying before the kids wake up and ruin it for them. During those moments I questioned why people even have kids and whether they were worth all that trouble. I woke up to the sound of a ball being sucked in by a mega vacuum. I opened my eyes only to find the baby being kissed by the father. It wasn’t a normal kiss, it looked like a Zombie trying to suck the poor baby’s brains out. Even the baby had a look on his face that said “Pleeeease save me!”. The father continued to kiss the baby until it started crying all over again. This time it was because the baby was hungry, and the mother was trying to get the flight attendants to get her hot water. The crying went on and off till we got to London. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to get off a plane in my life! Thanks to those kids the first day of my break in London was spent in my hotel room sleeping.

The moral of the story is that “child-free” flights are a great idea!!

* The photos above were taken by Jill Greenberg. She is known for taking amazing photos of crying babies. She officially has the worst job in the world!

I knew they were Real!

// August 21st, 2009 // 1 Comment » // humor

Hakuna Matata!!

Apple fanboy fruit!

// December 5th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // humor, tech

This guy loved apple so much he decided to put stickers on apples in a farm, and this was the result

source

Dilbert Clips

// November 9th, 2008 // Comments Off // humor, website

I was surprised to see that there were Dilbert clips, and after going through some of them, I chose this one for you.

For more check Dilbert’s Channel

Weird Riyadh Love Story

// October 10th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // humor

A friend of mine sent me this story, I liked it so much, so I thought I would share it. Sorry its in arabic, and its too long to translate…

يقول بطل القصة

رحت لمحل بيع الكتب المستعمله المكتبة ذي تبيع الكتب الرخيصه

رحت لها وشريت لي كتاب وكان عندي اختبار له في اليوم الثاني.. (هذي طريقتي في الاختبارات).. المهم فتحت الكتاب


(more…)

Best Product Review Ever!!

// August 12th, 2008 // Comments Off // humor, tech

I have seen funny product reviews on amazon, but none as funny as this one! This guy is reviewing Ubuntu, so check it out. Click on the image for a bigger version…

Classical “Game Over”s

// August 10th, 2008 // Comments Off // humor, me

I saw this on youtube, and I have to say I enjoyed it so much. I played some of these games when I was in Kindergarden. Most of these GAME OVERs are from NES, my favorite game back then was teenage mutant ninja turtles…

It’s incredible how much games have become in such a short period of time, I wonder what kind of games our grandchildren will be playing…

George Bush Stand-up?

// April 15th, 2008 // Comments Off // humor

I don’t know whether that was his material or not, but it was really good. I thought it was hilarious. This was over a year ago, because you could here him saying I have 600 days left in the white house…

Coolest Name Ever!!

// April 7th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // humor, Personal

If you thought your name was cool, then you obviously never met Batman Bin Suparman! I bet he was like the coolest kid in his class!!